Twin Flames vs Soul Mates

thehealingbellydan
May 18
4 min read

Last week I did live readings from my oracle deck called African Starseed on Instagram, (The video is attached) During the live someone asked if she and her man were going to get back together. When I asked the deck, the Past Lives card came up. I told her that not all past life connections are filled with love. Some people reconnect from past lives because one wronged the other and in this life that wrong needs to be dealt with.

It's not quite that simple nor a retribution. Each soul seeks to know and experience every aspect of a given situation. Say your soul wants to understand lack. In order to fully understand lack one also needs to understand what it feels like to have abundance. So in one life you may be a rich banker where all basic needs are met. In the next life you might be a subsistence farmer struggling to meet basic needs.

Your soul can also learn about wanting from this life position. The banker may be constantly wanting much like the farmer. He may want more money or larger houses. The farmer may want a full meal or money saved. In this way the soul learns about lack, and the related concept, wanting from two different vantage points.

The reason your soul is going through these lives is so that the Creator can know every aspect of life. The goal is for the soul to evolve to point where it rejoins the Infinite and Eternal Presence or God. Your soul wants to remember itself as one with Source.

So when you encounter someone in your life with whom have unfinshed karma, it is so that the soul can understand every aspect of a situation, not retibution. The two souls may be soul mates who agreed to incarnate together. For example I think my Mother was my daughter in another life. In the spirit realm we may have said; "In the next life, you be the Mother and I will be the daughter." My Mother often said; "You act like you my Mama!"

So why don't I believe in twin flames? I don't believe I have a twin flame because I think there are many souls I can meaningfully connect with, not just one. I do believe in Soul Mates.

Here's a comparison between Twin Flames and Soul Mates, courtesy of Chat GPT:

Here’s a clear comparison between Twin Flames and Soulmates to help you understand the key differences and similarities:

💞 Twin Flames vs. Soulmates: Comparison Chart

Aspect	Twin Flame	Soulmate
Definition	One soul split into two bodies	Separate souls deeply connected
Purpose	Spiritual awakening, growth, and transformation	Companionship, harmony, support
Connection	Intense, magnetic, sometimes chaotic	Deep, comforting, stable
Mirror Effect	Acts as a mirror—reflects unhealed wounds and deepest truths	Complements your personality and encourages growth
Challenge Level	Often tumultuous, triggering, and transformational	Usually harmonious and nurturing
Meeting Feeling	Electric, like meeting yourself	Familiar, like home
Romantic?	Often, but not always	Can be romantic, platonic, or familial
Number Possible	Only one twin flame (if any)	Multiple soulmates throughout life
Separation	Common phase—runner/chaser dynamic	Less likely to separate; more enduring and stable
End Goal	Union of self through spiritual growth; reunion if aligned	Mutual support and shared life journey

🔥 Twin Flame = Mirror + Intensity

Forces you to confront yourself
Pushes you to evolve spiritually
Often involves separation and inner work

💗 Soulmate = Balance + Comfort

Offers love and stability
Grows with you through life’s journey
Can be romantic partners, friends, or even family

✨ Which One Do You "Need"?

Twin flames challenge you.
Soulmates support you.

What is a Twin Flame?

I asked Chat GPT about twin flames because I have heard about it but, not taken much time to understand it because I don't believe it. Maybe I am synical about this, I admit LOL.

Here's what Chat GPT said about Twin Flames:

Twin flame theory is a spiritual and metaphysical concept that suggests every soul has a perfect counterpart, often called a “twin flame.” This counterpart is not just a romantic partner but a mirror of your soul — someone who reflects your strengths, weaknesses, fears, and desires, often triggering intense emotional and spiritual growth.

🔥 Core Ideas of Twin Flame Theory

One Soul, Two BodiesThe theory claims that a single soul splits into two at a high vibrational level and incarnates into two different people. These individuals are believed to be eternally connected.
Mirror EffectYour twin flame reflects your inner world. This can lead to both:
- Deep connection and love
- Painful challenges and personal growth
Not Always RomanticWhile often romanticized, twin flames don’t have to be lovers. They can be friends, mentors, or even brief encounters that deeply impact your life.
Spiritual PurposeTwin flames are said to meet in order to help each other evolve spiritually. The relationship is meant to push both individuals toward inner healing, awakening, and alignment with their higher purpose.

💫 How the Twin Flame Journey Typically Unfolds

Here’s a general progression:

Longing or SearchingOne or both people feel a deep, unexplainable desire for something or someone missing.
MeetingWhen twin flames meet, the connection is often instant, intense, and transformative.
Honeymoon PhaseThere’s often a period of bliss, where the connection feels perfect and destiny-driven.
Conflict & Separation (Runner/Chaser Dynamic)The mirror effect brings out unhealed wounds. One partner (the “runner”) may distance themselves, while the other (the “chaser”) seeks reunion.
Surrender & GrowthBoth individuals must work through personal issues, often separately. Healing, spiritual awakening, and self-love are key.
Reunion (Optional)If both have grown and healed sufficiently, a lasting reunion is possible. If not, the connection may remain distant, but impactful.

⚖️ Criticism and Skepticism

Psychological explanation: Some psychologists argue that what people call “twin flames” can be explained by trauma bonding, codependency, or idealization.
No scientific basis: Twin flame theory is rooted in spirituality, not science. It lacks empirical evidence.
Can be unhealthy: The intense highs and lows can sometimes justify staying in toxic relationships under the belief that it’s “meant to be.”